The best hangover cures, ranked by a Sommelier

We’ve all been there. A night out with the squad, or at your ex’s wedding, or maybe you just can’t have even one these days. You wake up feeling like death, a sharp pain in your head, a sloshing in the stomach, and a general sense of ennui and dread. While you could sit on the sofa all day binging Netflix and ordering takeout, there are any number of remedies that claim to soothe the beast. Here are the top choices, ranked by order of effectiveness, from least to most effective.

A double espresso. While I do enjoy coffee, and espresso as well, the extra jolt from the dark roast never quite sits right on a queasy stomach. Avoid (unless you’re Italian, in which case, pair this with a cigarette and a large pair of dark sunglasses).

Full English Breakfast. With baked beans (why?), black pudding, fried eggs, back bacon, and bangers, toast optional. Oh, and the fried tomato. Again, I think any sort of greasy breakfast, with a good amount of carbs, will help soak up some of the booze from last night. But getting all of this down while nauseous? Also see: Loco moco.

Umeboshi. Similar to the Polish shot of pickle brine, these Japanese pickled plums aim to replenish your electrolyte stores. Super salty, super sour, and quite pungent, not for the faint of heart. Best with a bowl of white rice and miso soup.

Haejang-guk. This Korean dish (or rather, collection of dishes) means “soup to chase a hangover,” and can refer to any sort of soup eaten as a hangover cure. Usually made with a beef broth base, this replenishes your lost electrolytes and aims to help rehydrate you.

Sichuan cuisine (or any super-spicy foods). While they may be able to cut through the dense fog of the hangover, I find that Ma Po Tofu works wonders. Must come with a healthy dose of chili oil, and be so spicy that it’s borderline inedible.

Drinking a glass of water before bed. This probably works, but I never remember to do it.

Hair of the Dog. AKA more booze. Whether in the form of an Irish coffee, Bloody Mary/Caesar, or an unholy union of vodka, Gatorade, & Red Bull (I invented this “cure” in college), this will def make the headache go away. Best paired with a mid-morning nap.

Pho (or any number of soups featuring tripe). Yes! Carbs, salt, lime, and spice. However, unless I can drag myself out to the car and drive to my local Vietnamese joint, I have to DoorDash, and that costs like $50 for a bowl of pho, some spring rolls, and a good tip. Warning: may cause intestinal distress.